Territorial Pissings

You need to be invited now?

2010-10-13T21:35:00.003-05:00

What is this crap? I thought the whole point of blogging was so that you can get your ramblings out to the masses and now you have to be invited. WTF!

I might as well ditch my counter now and give up the dream of getting 10000 hits. ROFL!

Holy shit...

2010-10-13T21:31:00.000-05:00

I need to update my blog roll and gosh darn it I forgot how.

Why?

2010-10-13T21:26:00.003-05:00

I don't get it.

Why....

my son asks for a caffeinated beverage at 9pm

my daughter can't find the time to pick up her socks

I can't make time to go to the gym

i have a bunch of other whys but its getting late and i have had blogger block for quite some time now.

Night :)

Blah...

2010-10-13T21:25:00.000-05:00

Nice to find out my blog is still worth money.

Should I have to put up with this shit....

2009-07-24T23:33:00.003-05:00

Within the last year a new person moved upstairs from me. When he moved in I basically gave him the ground rules you know when garages is picked up recyclables etc. Anyway then he started doing some stuff that I didn't like. Flicking his cigarette butts in the yard blocking the side entryway door to the garage. So I said something and at that time he kindly obliged.

Until recently. Back in May I noticed a bird feeder hanging above my patio. I currently have my patio furniture out there my grill etc. So I kindly asked him to move it to another window. He said that when it got warm he would. About a month later in June it was still there so I asked again, nothing happened. I called the landlord and he finally moved it only a few days later there was another bird feeder right back in the same spot. One morning I get up and he has thrown crackers and potato chips all over the grass. Keep in mind I have kids they play in this yard. As fed up as I was I wrote a very professional letter asking him to please stop throwing food out in the yard because it attracts other undesirable wildlife. I would say about a half hour later I hear a loud pounding on the door. I answer to him yelling at me telling me that its bullshit for what i am asking him to do. Practically whining he is like "its for the animals, all my life i have been feeding the animals" I said well cant they eat out of a dish?

My main concern is I don't want rats coming here in winter because there is a food source. I proceeded to tell him about the chipmunk that has set up base camp in the garage. In one week the chipmunk managed to dig out 2 count them 2 5 gallon pails of pea gravel from under the concrete slab in the garage, but he had to get to work and couldn't be delayed by my petty ramblings.

To make a long story short since my letter he is consistently blocking the garage side entry door, back to the cigarette butts on the ground and leaving soda cans all over the place. not to mention now that when he hears my footsteps he starts whistling incessantly and repeatedly slams the doors every time he enters and exits the house on several occasions has woken my kids up. Not to mention the 1am vacuuming and paper shredding. I have done nothing to him to deserve such disrespect. I hear him once badmouth me in the hallway saying what a bitch i am. I'm sorry asshole upstairs I don't deserve not to enjoy the place i live.

Things that are irritating me today...

2009-07-19T15:10:00.003-05:00

Not that these things can't irritate me everyday. I just felt like saying something today.

Barking dogs

The guy that lives upstairs from me

People who throw cigarette butts out the window of their car (I'm a smoker)

People that feed the birds

People that think knowing someone for three months is enough time to decide that they are the person they want to spend the rest of their life with

My kids throwing the pillows off the couch

Juice box straw wrappers

Watching a show on TV and it was the last show on the last time you watched it (reruns of reruns)

Buying the same thing twice because you forgot you already had one

Sneaky kids

OK, I did good not that these are in any particular order. I'm done venting now.

HAVE A NICE DAY! :)

This ROCKS!

2009-07-18T08:44:00.005-05:00

During my 2+ year absence I have also been dabbling in a wee bit of gaming. Keep in mind I'm 35 with kids so there is bound to be a console or 2 in the house. Who uses it? HAHA! Me, it all started with GTA San Andreas. Now anyone who has played and of the GTA series cam feel me there the games are hysterical. So I hear about this game called Rock Band from a friend at work who uses his X-mas bonus to buy it. At first I didn't think it would be much of anything. Well I ended up unemployed in April of 08 and was wondering what the kids and I were going to do to keep our sanity not being able to go anywhere because of lack of funds.

To make a long story short I walk into Sam's Club one day to pick up essentials and I spot it for $94 take it home and the kids freak at the size of the box. So I have been hooked on it ever since. I recently purchased Guitar Hero Metallica. It's fickin awesome and highly recommend it. BTW my arms are sore from rocking out :) and the kids and i have formed a band! I just found out looking at these sites they are coming out with a Beatles version of Rock Band with replica instruments!

Cool Deal...

2009-07-18T08:32:00.003-05:00

Right now Target has a special that if you buy 2 CD's within a certain selection you get a $15 dollar Itunes gift card free! I say this is a deal because the choices on the rack are about $9.99. Its like buying 2 getting one free. During this special. I bought some CD's I normally wouldn't have bought.

Shinedown - Leave a Whisper
The Beegees - Greatest hits
Paramore - Riot
Paramore - All we know is falling

Home 0, Weinermobile 1

2009-07-18T08:15:00.003-05:00

ROFL! I get up this early on a Saturday to read that an Oscar Mayer Weinermobile has crashed into a home in Mount Pleasant WI. I can't believe it made national news. Now I only know how to spell Oscar Mayer because of those damn commercials when I was a kid. I swear to you as I sit here typing it out I'm chanting the diddy in my head. I have added some useless Weinermobile trivia ans statistics here. Do you think if you spot it they still give out them whistles? I would have a picture to post here of my kids with the Weinermobile but they thought they were too cool and refused the offer. "Why do I want my picture taken in front of a giant hot dog mom?"

Some Thoughts about MJ's Passing...

2009-07-14T20:14:00.001-05:00

My Life Really Isn't That Shitty Anymore

2009-07-14T17:39:00.005-05:00

I look back at the time that has passed since i was pretty religious about blogging and boy some of them old posts were sad. It has been over three years since my divorce and life couldn't be better. I am still single but now I know that is by choice. I have decided that lass drama = better life. I have an awesome job and work with a lot of really fun people. My kids have not suffered because of it, and I get along pretty good with my Ex not that all the dust has settled. I think my main focus from here on out id like to talk about the fun shit that occurs in everyday life. Could be political, about my kids or otherwise. I think i just needed a couple posts to get me started again.

I owe my return to a dear friend who has recently asked me to collaborate with her on an SL fashion blog. If you are unaware what SL is check it out. I have been learning a lot about open source code and scripting so this has taken a lot of my time in the last what is it like 2 years. ROFL My creativity is back :)

http://hawtbish.blogspot.com/

Omg....

2009-07-14T17:29:00.002-05:00

I don't know if anyone even follows this stupid blog anymore but I have decided to take it up again. I gave up on word press a long time ago. I have been busy with a real job believe it or not! I'm hoping to come up with some more of the blogs that my readers were used to. Satire Bishes!

Its ben a year... Officially

2007-06-11T21:16:00.000-05:00

When you file for a divorce they should hand you a manual.

It should go something like this.

1. your kids are going to hate you for a while.

2. you are going to be lonely and desperate.

3. you will sleep with the first guy who pays attention to you and this will be your rebound.

4. you will unfortunaly fall in love with the next man who will be married and crush you heart into a million peices.

5. After you dum said guy you will only think about how you can seek reveng on him.

6. You will be lonely.

7. You keep thinking about that married asshole and he ruins all future dates.

8. He filed for divorce and moved out of the house and still doesn't want you.

9. non of the dates can compare to the married asshole with the great smile and witty sense of humor.

Arghhhhhhhhhhh!

Crap crap crap....

Maybe when I get up tomorrow the first thing i get wont be a shit sandwich for breakfast.

Good night all!

I went to a titty bar on St. Patricks Day "An Essay of Sorts"

2007-03-20T19:35:00.000-05:00

I went to a gentlman's night club in the daytime called On the Border.

Until this point I was a titty bar virgin. I get there thinking shit this looks like "bada bing" from the Sopranos.

It was dead there was only one girl on at a time and I am there with a bunch of male friends. I figured since we were hanging out WTF might as well check it out "research".

First why am I there with a bunch of guys. My female friends were busy. I have more male friend than female friends. I get treated like one of the guys. Men don't seem to want to ever date me they just want to be my "friend" at least for the most part the propositions have stopped... for now.

Well I totally didn't know what to expect. The women there looked like normal average folk that you see everyday. I wore a low cut white shirt. Hello black lights! I stuck out like a sore thumb. A magnet! The next thing I know some chick has her ass pointed at me and my friend to the right says " that's for you" I'm like what? Well I was like fresh fish in the meat department. I didn't know that they would stick thier boobs in my face very uncomfortable feeling I tell you. Well I humored the guys and stuck a dollar in my cleavage and let one of the girls take it out with her boobs. Then everybody was happy.

Well I think my research is done though if I had a boyfriend that would be the closest thing to a threesome he would ever get.

I went to school with the Mayfair Peeping Tom...

2007-02-23T06:32:00.000-06:00

Ok, for one this is gross. I have known this creep since I was in 8th grade. He was weird then. The typical metal head that wore the infamous Metallica t-shirt reading Metal up your ass. Liked Ozzy so much he would write his name on his knuckles and it was rumored that he even filed his teeth.

Well anyway mutual friends confirmed that he has been in jail more that out of is and it looks like Eddie has a new hobby. Photographing women in the bathroom. I can't believe he is only getting a misdomeaner for this.

Shit Happens!

2007-02-22T20:21:00.000-06:00

Well I have been out of the loop for a while and so much stuff has been happening in my life that it's time I sat down and blogged about it.

I finally have a real job! Like an 8:30 to 5 job! To those of you that know me, you know that for the past 4 years I dragged my ass out of bed at 3:30 am to deliver the Milwaukee Journal. Well last Friday I quit. I took a full time position for the company I worked for right before I took the crap job at the paper. So anyway they stick me in this room with these funny guys and now everyday there is something funny going around. I told them that they better be careful cuz im going to blog about it.

Check Update!

2006-12-21T18:21:00.000-06:00

I pondered that thing for hours wishing that it indeed was valid. Well i'm like 95% sure that is not. I did manage to call the FBI no not female body inspectors Lol. Well it sounded cool to say I called them. I really did though. Anyway the gentleman on the phone said that the check most likely originated in Nigeria and typically there is a note enclosed stating that you should cash the check and wire the money back to Nigeria and they get rich while your happy ass is getting investigated. I still plan on contacting Wachovia Bank so that they are aware that this is still occuring. The FBI also gave me an interesting piece of statistical information. At least 10,000 of these checks come through each state per month and that alt least 5 or 6 people per month are stupid enough to cash them. Somehow someone got my address from a list somewhere and that is how I got this check. I hope that this reaches out to someone so that people know that these things are going on. I guess I'm not the sucker I thought I was.

There is also another scam going around watch out for the people from a London textile company they try to scam you into thinking they are giving you a job you get the money send it to them and then you get a "comission" How I burned them I told them to send me information about the company and what type of "job" I would actually be doing. Never heard from them again.

I know this may sound a bit freaky but I am a single woman and not afraid to admit that I have investigated a few potential suitors as far as having the plates on the car looked up. It sounds extreme but you can never be too careful and God bless CCAP!

I Wish HP Was Giving Away Money

2006-12-20T19:33:00.000-06:00

I got this in the mail today... What Do you think? Notice that there is no postage stamp on the envelope and the bar code is there? Huh???

Man what I could do with this money! If you can't see it the check is made out for $3250.00.

Dear Alcohol...

2006-12-19T06:48:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas Enjoy!

Someone sent this to me via e-mail and I thougt it was pretty funny... Dana Carvey was right you cant say the word "Judicial" without sounding like a drunken idiot. Try it!

Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/ passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your biggest fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3.Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it>>lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

Where the heck have I been????

2006-12-19T06:44:00.000-06:00

Shit I don't even know anymore. I started this blog like a year ago and was really religious at posting something like everyday right?

I think i'm having one of them life storms again. Or maybe its because I am working 2 jobs. None the less I hope to bring some stuff back here to share. I know the rest of you in the Cheddarsphere are probably getting irritated.

Miller "Friday Night Lights"

2006-12-19T06:33:00.000-06:00

I'm sure you have all seen it. Driving down state street at night. Well I took the kids to the brewery last Friday night. It started at the visitor center and a tour guide walked us into the theater. We watched a 10 minute video. If anyone has ever been to the regular tour the video is a hoot! "It's Miller Time" Then the tour proceeded down state street to see the light extravaganza 100,000 LED lights marching to "Wizards in winter" pretty cool! The kids liked it. After that well got a tour of the tunnels Fred Miller dug in the 1850's to keep the beer cold. Had no idea it was 60 degrees in there all the time and its 62 feet underground. We then proceeded to the "Miller Inn" to sample some of the beer 2 cups I think it was Lite and Fosters. They offered the children there pretzels and soda. They also have postcards to send and they pay the postage. I sent out 2 one to the goofball who was supposed to join me and another to my dad just to brag how cool the lights were.. I don't know if this is something that they do all the time but it was neat. This Friday Dec 22 is the last Friday they will be doing the tours with the lights. It starts at 5pm to 8pm and the tours run every 20 minutes. At the end of the tour they do hold a raffle to get some schwag. The price to get in FREE!

Hazzard Pay?

2006-11-22T06:39:00.000-06:00

I am sure most of you have heard the news about the Milwaukee Journal Carrier getting shot this morning. I have always been suspicious if any thing like this have ever happened. When I started they told me to carry Mace. If only a concealed carry law was in effect! I'd be packing!

I have another tenant!

2006-10-31T06:31:00.000-06:00

Here I thought I was done with the wildlife issues. I know some of you remember that I reported this spring that I had a female opossum under my porch.

I got a very rude awakening this morning when I came home. My new tenant is black and white and really stinky. Though I have not seen it yet I know its there and now I need to know how to get rid of it and to the one who told me to play NPR that didn't work the last time! I did replace the porch light and that seemed disturbing to the opossum so I shoved newspaper down the hole and waited. After seeing no activity for a few weeks I realized that it had moved and filled the hole. Well for some reason the animals like this spot and the hole is in the same place as the last time. What the heck is a woman who has had a fear of being sprayed by a skunk to do? Yes have been paranoid all my life and I wonder how I do my morning paper run knowing that them things are out there. I'm also looking forward to the migraines that are going to occur now because these critters are one of my triggers. My life sucks!

Man it stinks in here!

I'm out of my box...

2006-10-18T09:23:00.000-05:00

Well the more and more I get out of the box the more and more I realize that I should have just stayed in it. As of late I have been doing a wee bit of bar hopping. I never really was much of a drinker in the first place but I figure where could I meet new and interesting people? Right? Anyway for me to go out on a weeknight is completely absurd well you know I miss "Drinking Right" every month. Well one of these days dammit i'm going to do it. That's beside the point here. So I went to Danny Lynches last night. From previous experience I thought this was a "biker" bar well it might be. I played a few games of pool and a couple games of darts and was reminded why I don't play because I suck so maybe I will stick to the karaoke or go back to my sheltered life.

Weird Crap!

2006-10-18T09:15:00.000-05:00

Well I know you have all heard of Wal-Mart anyway I thought this needed to be blogged about considering I havn't posted anything in a while.

Yes worthy and a bit grotesque but cute...

FetusMart Just what it says in the title you can adopt you own special fetus in a jar. Many varieties to choose from.

I adopted a cute lil' pikachu fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Music Reviews...

2006-10-04T09:17:00.000-05:00

Buy These CD's!

Continuum by: John Mayer If anyone saw the episode of CSI last week, he was on there and if you liked the 2 songs he did on the show you will love the whole thing!

Need "Booty Jams"? Justin Timberlakes latest is "HOT" those of you who want a sneak peek can download the songs for free on Urge you don't need a credit card for the 14 day trial either. FYI

Fun at the Karaoke Bar...

2006-09-30T13:35:00.000-05:00

I really wasn't much of a drinker in the first place but things lately have been driving me to do it. I went out last night. I realize that things haven't changed much. You still have your "regulars" and those that I remember have much less hair now and such bad "dunlap" disease it makes me wonder why I keep coming back. I do have to say I still got it, getting hit on feels pretty darn good. I have my self - confidence back and now I know it shows. I was able to get up there last night and do 3 songs. I surprised myself I didn't think had the courage to do it. I even got some applause. Before I was married I used to frequent this bar for the pure fact they had Karaoke and on Friday nights.

My Place on 76th & Bluemound if anybody is interested. It's not a bad place they do offer pool and darts and the crowd is a good mix.

My Poison = Cherry UV and Coke "I love Vodka"

Ok what did she sing I know your wondering...

Fall to pieces = Avril Lavigne

Breakaway = Kelly Clarkson

Round Here = Counting Crows

Review: The RazrV3

2006-09-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

Yes, I just recently acquired a new cell phone and so far I'm liking it. I signed up for Cingular because through AT&T they offer combined billing.

Compared to the Nokia I had this has a lot of super features I like the double screen I can see who is calling without having to open the phone. I prefer the flip vs the candy bar style. I can also set more than on alarm and trust me this thing is loud. I sleep like a rock its so annoying that I an completely unable to desensitize from the noise. The camera function is nice but the only drawback is you have to purchase software to download the pics to your computer at a cost of about 30 bucks. It is also bluetooth enabled so when I want to go high tech when I get that cubicle job and feel important I can look cool with an earpiece like everybody else, NOT! I think those people are annoying.

God there is a cure...

2006-09-28T14:44:00.000-05:00

I cant believe there is a site dedicated to this... Well yes I can you can find just about anything on the net these days.

For those of you who suffer like me

I thought of Aaron when I read the following I know he sometimes wonders how he gets his traffic. I know his satire is the reason I keep reading

• Satirical - One of the reasons I got into blogging was that I stumbled across a couple of bloggers who were writing in a satirical form and taking pot shots at politicians (I can’t seem to find the blog to link to). Well written satire or parody can be incredibly powerful and is brilliant for generating links for your blog.

My Busy Life

2006-09-28T14:37:00.000-05:00

I wish someone would have warned me that the Job market sucks right now. I have been looking for about 2 months and in the last 2 Weeks I am finally getting some calls. I don't know how many of you are still attempting to read this blog on a regular basis but I sincerely apologize. I normally have some pretty good material but it seems I have hit another patch of bloggers block.

That Darn Book Again...

2006-09-21T15:58:00.000-05:00

Yeah so I have been dating. I acutally just broke it off with someone about 3 weeks or so ago. When we first met, this guy called me everyday. I thought it was pretty weird but didn't mind. It's when they say they will call and never do that ticks me off to no end. About a month into the relationship he expressed how he liked "hanging out" with me and that if anything happend that he hoped that we could still be friends. In a later conversation he told me that he was not developing an emotional connection. Thats when it hit me "he's just not that into me" I dragged it on for about 2 weeks after that for physical reasons only, purely the type of thing didn't want. I figured what the hell. I proceded to wait to see if he would call and 2 days had passed so I called him and told him I cant justify seeing you any more I deserve better.

"don't waste the pretty"

All this to see who takes out the garbage...

2006-09-14T14:24:00.000-05:00

Potty Training Update #3

2006-09-07T11:48:00.000-05:00

The Job is done! Just in time for school thank god! t's been over a week and no accidents!

His Aim Sucks...

2006-08-29T14:34:00.000-05:00

Yeah all this talk about pregnancies and kids. Well those few of you that regularily stop here know I have been working my youngest to use the pot. I have had him in underwear for like 4 days now. He is finally going by himself but gets soo excited about it that he totally loses control of lets say "the stream" my magazine rack is headed for the hose of the garden kind.

Silly Putty and Remotes Don't go Together

2006-08-29T14:28:00.000-05:00

Don't try this at home... I made the mistake of showing my kids how to copy the funny pages with the silly putty so now my 4 year old is trying to copy everything. He decided to "mold" the buttons on the remote and the stuff would just not come off. Yeah I even used the big wad of silly putty that was left to try to "lift" it off of there and that didn't even work.

Oh FYI its hard to get out of hair too!

Daily Observation #1

2006-08-22T13:44:00.000-05:00

Guy pulls up to gas pump without shirt on, pumps gas. Puts shirt on while walking to station to pay for gas. Leaves store and quickly removes shirt. I just thought this was kinda funny whats the big deal about wearing a shirt anyway. I didnt think they enforced the no shirt thing anymore for the men anyway. I know I wouldn't do it but i'm sure a lot of guys would like me to.

My Flippin Computer Sucks...

2006-08-22T13:41:00.000-05:00

Yes, the reason I have been absent for over a week. I am down from a 2.8Ghz to a damn 700Mhz. I think my processor died because of the heat in the case. Stupid alerts I guess I wasn't quick enough to fix the problem. Unless 5 beeps at the post means something else? So I could really use a 20lb sledge if anyone has on to let out my frustrations.

Back From The Fair

2006-08-11T20:50:00.000-05:00

Well, suprisingly didn't see very many mullets probably because I was too busy looking for my dad. My step-mom and want to the ladies room and he disappeared with my children so we were like cool then he gets to listen to them whine for those darn character balloons. Thank god its only one week out of the year this is typically the only time of the year I eat corn dogs if you go this weekend and have one get the regular size because the footlong has a bad cornbread to hot dog ratio. We enjoyed ourselves and my brothers girlfriend was propositioned by a toothless carnie.

I'm Starting My New Job Today...

2006-08-11T12:02:00.000-05:00

Yes the time has come... I'm going to the State Fair and i'll be mullet hunting full force. I will give you the full report tomorrow.

Going through a wee bet of "Bloggers Block" I think it will pass quickly though.

Who Voted For Briefs?

2006-08-09T17:22:00.000-05:00

So people still do where tighty whities...

Dave's Series of Unfortunate Events

2006-08-09T17:05:00.000-05:00

Keep in mind this has all transpired in the matter of about a month. They say things usually happen in 3's right so maybe his luck will change. "I highly doubt it" I kinda feel bad in a plankton induced dementia sort of way.

Ok here it goes...

1. Car gets broken into and his money and bank cards are taken.

2. Window of same car is smashed and they boost his car stereo.

3. Parks in a space downtown where they do street cleaning on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, "the sign was small" car is towed and impounded and it costs him $95 bucks to get it out with proper registration and insurance information.

I asked him, " have you done anything bad to anyone?" (batting eyelashes) if looks could have killed I would have been dead on the floor.

I say that's what yah get for cheating on your wife.

Those of you who are doing it or thinking about it might want to take extreme caution after reading this. What comes around goes around.

Muah ha ha ha ha ha...

Alright Already...

2006-08-09T12:26:00.000-05:00

I apologize for not showing up last night! I had every intention of going there for "Drinking Right" until I got the phone call. So I am going to try my hardest to get there next time. have even given Casper a suggestion for where we should meet. OK! You now have permission to kick my arse.

What Can I Do with All This Free Time?

2006-08-08T15:31:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know some of you are saying dammit she really needs to update her blog roll. You are sooo right so I am going to go scouting for new material keep your eyes peeled.

It Was Time... Don't Pass This Up Ladies!

2006-08-08T15:04:00.000-05:00

I just couldn't go without posting this today! Fashion Bug is having an awesome sale on bras and undies this week! Even if you don't have a man or you need to buy something nice for your girlfriend this is can't miss. I got 124.00 worth of really nice/sexy bras and underwear for about 54 bucks! Yeah, thats right I said 54 bucks. Bras buy 2 get 2 free and undies all styles buy 3 get 3 free. The coolest thing about this store is that they sell all sizes even mine which made me feel like a kid in a candy store. Even if nobody sees them I will at least feel sexier. Lol

Potty Training Update...

2006-08-07T20:44:00.000-05:00

My son has finally caught on to my idle threats. I have been threatening him as far as if he doesn't drop the kids off at the pool soon, he will have no birthday party!

Well Today I broke down and bought a soda. My kids are going through major withdrawals from pop. My son took the soda and ran. I said, "you bring that back right now!" His reply "I will give it to you if you go potty on the toilet!"

Reminiscing...

2006-08-07T17:20:00.000-05:00

I decided to read some past material and this came up and of course I have a story to go along with it.

Aaron posted this comment to a previous post...

Lisa, other than beerpong, what else is there to life? Lawn Jarts, perhaps? Nay. Beerpong is truly the sport of kings.

Lawn Jarts?

Ok, my youngest brother finally graduated from high school this year so my dad had a big party at his house this past July. Somewhere in the attic of the garage were a set of old Lawn Jarts I don't know who found them. Well the older teenage boys were having a blast playing the game. A few hours later the younger crowd went for a few rounds and one of my cousins decided to hold the ring up and see if the boys could make it through her hoop. Well just as she was picking up the hoop a jart was on its way to make full contact with her left eye and the next thing I know I am calling out the troops. By this time this kid was covered in blood. She ended up only needing one stitch in her eyelid. I suppose things could have been a lot worse.

Movie Review - Clerks II

2006-08-07T16:48:00.000-05:00

I have not laughed this much at a movie in a while. God Damn! Now there is one part in the movie that make sense to me... When Elias explains to Randall if he has ever gone "all the way" Elias comments no she has a "Pussy Troll" then he goes on to ask if he has even kissed her he replies "she has a mouth troll too" Anyway Mr. Pillow pants the pussy troll is supposed to fall out when the girl reaches 21 how funny is this. I think I am going to have to use this on my daughter when she gets older. This was a great movie I would highly recommend that you all check it out.

Six Flags Was Packed This Saturday

2006-08-07T11:47:00.000-05:00

Well I'm glad I got tickets to get in free! We wanted to checkout the new waterpark but apparently there are capacity restrictions and as people were leaving the would let the same number in. I believe it was like an hour wait. We managed to get on 3 rides in 5 hours and called it a wash. There is also no smoking there except for the designated areas which are few and far between. Yeah I know I should quit but it's my last vice and I have another 30 pounds to lose dammit. I had good company so it wasn't that bad and I finally went on the Viper boy you really get thrown around on that one whew. Next time I go it will be a Tuesday.

Action Figure Dilemma

2006-08-02T13:04:00.000-05:00

I visited the grocery store today with my kids. Those of you who have kids can relate to this... Every time we go out they need to take their favorite toys with them. Well today my son decided to take "four arms" with him. While we were walking to the store one of the arms fell off. Of course I didn't notice this until we were almost done in the store and we had been through like every isle. So yeah like the good mother I am I went and retraced all of our steps and explained to my son that if we didn't find the arm the toy would be known as "three arms" I also stated that he would not get a new one because of the rarity of the toys for this show. Well I finished my shopping and we loaded up and got in the car to no avail the arm was outside in the parking lot and if wouldn't have looked to avoid traffic I never would have found it *sigh* of relief that is. My kid was so happy. Oh and for those of you that are toonheads like me should catch this show its pretty cool its on Cartoon Network and it's called Ben 10.

This Time of Year Is When I know My Job Really Sucks

2006-07-30T20:54:00.000-05:00

As if getting up at 3am is fun... But to be down wind from the fair park is much better especially when it's like 90 outside. Man I hope things cool off before thursday. The horses were bad enough.

ACK!

Learned Something New Today!

2006-07-28T08:43:00.000-05:00

I did it! I finally figured out how to create a poll! I'm getting my learn on! Please submit your vote i'm dying to know if tighty whities are finally dead.

Take the poll

Free Poll by Blog Flux

Fashion Faux Pas #1

2006-07-28T08:20:00.000-05:00

I go to the gas station every morning, lately I feel like I live there. Usually get there around 4:30am or so after I pick up my papers. The last thing I need to see is an adult man with his fly undone and Shrek boxers. Don't people look at themselves before they leave the house anymore?

New Recruit...

2006-07-27T14:56:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know where Truly is now because I have been there! I must say that enlisting in "sex camp" is nice. I am going to try to keep my absenses to a minimum though. I have a lot to get off my chest.

Enough Of That Stuff...

2006-07-19T17:17:00.000-05:00

I went to the gas station this morning to get my daily pepsi it's like my coffee and I wont buy any soda for the house too many calories and leads to much snacking. I went to pay for my items and noticed that there was a guy who was still pumping his gas but he was in the store. Thank God there was more than one attendant there to stop the pumps. There was gas everywhere don't always believe the pump will automatically shut off when the tank is full.

"idiot"

Thank You Part 2

2006-07-19T16:16:00.000-05:00

I would like to thank Greg & Liz for a great book and would say that it's a must read for all women.

To those of you that have read "He is just no that into you" to have an idea what my marriage was like read chapters 5 & 11.

After reading this book I feel more confident about myself and I have closure from my previous relationship.

I have also made a vow to never do any of the following ever again even if he is the last guy on earth. I am posting what I would have written in the book if I was one to write in a book.

I will not ever ask a guy out again.

I will not wait by the phone.

Had I read this book before I met the guy I married I would have stayed with the last guy because he was "into me" and I feel like a schlep because I probably broke his heart.

Greg, I get it! By Lisa, Age 33

I married this guy who had absolutly no relationship with anyone in his family. He would never participate in any functions that involved my family or friends. Finally my friends and family started to do the same to me when I invited them to my house for a holiday. I finally got the idea that he was not into me when he started posting personal ads on the internet. I found this out on my wedding anniversary. I filed the walking papers four days later. I just wish this book would have been written 8 years earlier I could have saved me a lot of heartache.

Thank You Part 1

2006-07-14T10:07:00.000-05:00

I know I have been absent quite a bit in the last few months. I was recently divorced as if some of you didn't already know that. I have decided to venture out into the dating pool again without much luck.

I started reading this blog.

Thank You Truly for being an inspiration with out reading your blog I probably never would have found this book. The book link is directly to Amazon so that all you women out there that have questions about your current beau's excuses you can order it right away!

Feingold Has Friends?

2006-07-11T09:46:00.000-05:00

One of my "Myspace" friends who i kinda know, well we share mutual real friends has good ol' Russ on his list. I suppose he will do just about anything to get a vote.

Here is the link http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=22116605

Day 2...

2006-06-30T21:59:00.000-05:00

Ok, the Fake Bake looks ok today im not as orange but I know now how uneven it is. I have been getting the stares "Like what the heck did you do to yourself" when I go out in public. ith my luck this thing will probably take 2 weeks to wash off. I'm hoping on wednesday it goes on much better.

Animal Testing...

2006-06-29T16:40:00.000-05:00

Today I humored a friend, she recently got a job at a local tanning salon. I was asked to be her victim for the spray tan. Well 6 hours have past and I am this nice orange hue. I am hoping things look better tomorrow when I wash off the temporary dye. My daughter told me I look like an Oompa Loompa. Good thing i'm a freak of the night I don't think I could have gone to a day job looking like this. I get to do it all again on Wednesday.

Screech Has a Challenger...

2006-06-26T20:32:00.000-05:00

k this guy is trying to raise money to supposedly throw a party for everybody who donates, or you can buy one of his t-shirts.

What are D-list celebrities coming too...

Thank God There are No Wild Gators In "Stallis"

2006-06-22T20:45:00.000-05:00

I have seen some strange animals but never a gator on my route.

So far here is a list of the wildlife I have encountered

Rabbits

Skunk

Opossum

Deer

Fox

Robins

Crow

Stray Cats

Stray Dogs

Mice

Raccoons

and believe it or not Wild Turkey the turkey actually chased me out of a driveway off of 94th & Main by I 45

Gator Lunges at Man Delivering Newspapers

POTTSTOWN, Pa. (AP) - A man delivering newspapers at 5 a.m. Monday heard an unusual sound as he got out of his truck to retrieve a misthrown newspaper. He walked between two parked cars and saw a 4-foot alligator.
"He kind of lunged at me and hissed," said Bobby Kish, 46. "His mouth was open; I was about five feet away. It was enough to get my attention."
Kish jumped back in his car, drove to the Pottstown Borough police station and told the dispatcher, who sent officers to the scene.
Cpl. Jamie O'Neill grabbed the alligator from behind and secured its jaws with duct tape. The animal was taken in a patrol wagon to the county prison, where it was logged in as "Al E. Gator."
Capt. Allan Ewing was awakened by officers and asked how to deal with the reptile. He said the borough's animal handler arranged for it to go to a private animal facility near Wilkes-Barre.

Mullets & Big Hair!

2006-06-22T07:42:00.000-05:00

Wow, all this talk about mullets... and to think I have mullet hunting listed as one of my hobbies. I think I am going to break out my yearbook I think there is an afro mullet in there somewhere.

I don't think I ever had a mullet but I did have really big hair my senior year.

Links that pay homage to the everlasting mullet.

http://www.mulletsgalore.com

http://www.mulletmadness.com

http://www.mulletjunky.com

H/T Dennis York

I Though Gillian Anderson Was Taller...

2006-06-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

In my most recent catatonic state I have discovered the "SizeMatcher"

Ever wonder which celebrities share your height?

I Am Also Half German... Don't Know Which Half Though.

2006-06-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

But isn't everybody that lives in Weatallica?

What Nationality Am I?

2006-06-16T07:54:00.000-05:00

Here is the country's flag...

New Border Patrol

2006-06-16T07:49:00.000-05:00

With all of this talk about the borders of the U.S. I thought I would share this funny photo. I Have nothing against people from other countries who come here legally, shoot I wouldn't be her right now if it weren't for legal immigration. I think My great-granfather came over through Ellis Island from the "Old Country"

This Guy Needs My Deodorant Sample...

2006-06-16T07:44:00.000-05:00

(Associated Press)

ANN ARBOR, Mich. (AP) - A marriage-minded man ran naked through his neighborhood, trying to show his hesitant girlfriend that taking risks is important. He got more than he bargained for when he ended up being chased and shot at.

"Just when you thought you had heard everything," Ann Arbor police Detective Sgt. Jim Stephenson told The Ann Arbor News.

The couple were discussing marriage early Wednesday when the woman said she wasn't sure if she was ready, according to Ann Arbor police reports. The man responded that taking risks is an important part of life and, to prove his point, jumped out of a first-floor window and ran naked across the street.

Before he could return, he spotted a couple walking and hid in some bushes to avoid them. A 28-year-old man noticed the bushes rustling and bare feet underneath, then drew a .40-caliber handgun and ordered the naked man out, police said.

The naked suitor ran away, but the armed man gave chase and threatened to shoot, police said. The gunman fired a shot and the naked man fell to the ground, suffering minor injuries.

A resident called police, who arrested the gunman on charges of aggravated assault and carrying a concealed weapon. He was taken to the Washtenaw County jail but released following further investigation, police Sgt. Patrick Hughes told The Associated Press.

The naked man was not arrested and didn't want to pursue charges, Hughes said.

Again I am on Hiatus...

2006-06-08T09:01:00.000-05:00

If you have ever attempted to potty train a boy you can understand why I have no time to blog. I am to busy washing laundry and cleaning myself up. Yup they miss! I knew this would be an experience from the day he was born. First kids don't exactly come with a manual and, second I was never warned that baby boys woke up with "morning wood".

I put my son in underwear all day yesterday and set him on the pot every hour, no sooner did he get off he wet himself. He did this 5 times. Well I thought for sure that when I put him to bed he was going to have an accident. Nope the kid was bone dry at 4:00 this morning and when I got home from work he came running to me screaming "I did it mom" I was so proud of him so I guess all that work and mess paid off now I just have to tackle #2.

Blog Sitting!

2006-06-03T13:18:00.001-05:00

I have received the honor of blog sitting for Aaron I will be covering the weekend video portion for the next 2 weekends. Go check it out! I dare you!

Are All Men Risk Takers?

2006-06-03T13:10:00.000-05:00

I received a sample in the mail yesterday for Degree Ultra Clear for men. Ironic because no men live here anymore. So I decided to take a look to see what kind of deoderant it was.

To those of you who have used this right under the "flavor" the container reads " Protects men who take risks" got a good laugh out of this I guess that just comfirms that I have no life. So I have been thinking about who I should give this lovely sample too. I guess It there is no protection for those who do not take risks.

Those Darn Cops...

2006-05-30T19:39:00.000-05:00

I don't see how the City of West Allis can be so special. I know in Milwaukee if you violate night parking the ticket is only 10 bucks. If i'm wrong tell me.

My mother comes over here at 4:00 am every morning so that I don't have to take my kids to work with me. Well this morning she got here at 4:05. I noticed that she parked on the wrong side of the street. Not really caring I went to work and came home and noticed that she had a ticket on her car. Yesterday was a holiday you would think that you would get a break, well not here. The time stamped on the ticket was 4:31 she had only been here for 26 minutes when it was written what if her plan was to leave my house at 4:32 thats almost a buck a minute that she was here. She is really ticked off and is going to fight a 20 parking ticket.

I think the whole thing is crap. And in milwaukee they give you an envelope to mail the ticket.

Those cheap bastards!

What's Your Sign?

2006-05-29T14:50:00.000-05:00

A couple of moths ago I was discussing with a fello blogger to find something weird to report about for things that go on in Milwaukee and vicinity. Well I finally got it. Sunday upon returning from Wal-Mart I was stopped by a train. I was heading east on Beloit road, those of you from West Allis are probably familiar. That is when it came to me. I was looking around at whatever daydreaming about eating the cheeseburger I just purchased from Golden Gyros.

It was a sign that read something like prosthetic devices. On the sign was a picture/sketch of Lionardo DaVinci's Vetruvian Man and it was missing it's head. I chuckled at it for a second and commented that I wouldn't trust them with my prosthetics unless they put a head on that picture.

Anyway I am going to go out and about and try to take pictures of business signs to post weekly on my blog. I will have a picture of this sign in the future for all of you to enjoy. Those of you who would like to send something can contact me at the e-mail address that is in my profile. They don't have to be from Milwaukee or Wisconsin for that matter but they do have to be funny. I thought this one was especially funny because of the recent relese of the movie DaVinci Code.

I Don't Care If You Hate Me For This.

2006-05-22T17:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I fell asleep at like 3 in the afternoon and slept until nine. The kids were by there dad so yeah I had the time and I already finished my chores for the day. I sometimes don't know what to do when they are not here. I ended up watching Men In Black for like the umteenth time.

After that I was looking throught the channel guide and could not believe what I saw. Oh, my god I felt a rush of happiness. It turns out my favorite radio talk show host now has a show on HNN.

Yes it is Glenn Beck so if you dont like it put a sock in it.

Why couldn't this happen to us?

2006-05-22T16:41:00.000-05:00

Ok, I could only be this lucky and If I was I would tell all my friends and say nothing when I went in to pay for my gas. I would consider it payback for all of the times I have gone into a gas station and got "sub-par" service.

From Excite

Malfunction Cuts Gas Price to 29 Cents

HAMMOND, Ind. (AP) - When a pump at a gas station malfunctioned, opportunistic motorists were able to buy gas for 29 cents per gallon. A Marathon station sold a gallon of fuel for less than the price of a first-class stamp for about 90 minutes Friday before the mistake was detected and and the price corrected to $2.79. While still answering questions from customers about why the price had suddenly gone up, clerk Nida Tayyab said more than 50 people had crowded the store, likely thinking the mishap was a price promotion, and received the bargain. Normally, the station serves about 10 people per hour. "I was really confused," she said. "It was so messed up. I can't explain here how it was." When Tayyab figured out what was going on, she called her father, who works at another store, for help fixing the situation. "It's fine now. It's all working," Tayyab added.

Bad Parenting!

2006-05-22T16:35:00.000-05:00

I thought I would be able to use this picture for something yeah I was reading snopes and could not resist. I am glad the babies were rescued.

LAYTON, Utah - It wasn't chickens that were crossing the road. It was a mother duck and 10 ducklings and the road was Interstate 15.Utah Highway Patrol Sgt. Chris Simmons slowed traffic and herded the ducks, which were waddling south in the northbound lane, to the highway's grassy median. But five of the ducklings slipped through a storm grate and Davis County Animal Control officers joined the Friday rescue.Officers Ashley Langford and Brandie Stanley used tongs to get two of the ducklings out, but the others headed deep inside the pipe that runs under I-15. They duct-taped a small net to the tongs and then waited for more than two hours before each little duckling eventually wandered from the pipe within reach of the net.The ducklings were placed in a pet carrier and the mother in a separate crate. All were taken to a new home - away from the highway - at Layton Commons Park."We released the baby ducks first, then their mom. They all dashed to the pond," Langford said. "It was a great reunion."

I can't stop laughing at this one!

2006-05-21T11:41:00.000-05:00

Please excuse me for today but I am going to get a lil' ghetto. God Damn!

The fashion king slappin up a lil Axl. I read the following headling and couldn't stop rolling on the floor. What is up with celebrities today?

Axl "Hilfiger just kept smacking me"

From Yahoo News

NEW YORK - It was a one-two encounter between Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger. The rocker and designer capped a Thursday evening out at a new club called The Plumm in Manhattan's Chelsea neighborhood with midnight fisticuffs. "There was an issue between the two of them," Plumm owner Noel Ashman told The Associated Press. The scuffle reportedly started after the Guns N' Roses front man moved the drink of Hilfiger's girlfriend, Dee Ocleppo. "I moved his girlfriend's drink so it wouldn't spill," Rose told the Los Angeles radio station KROQ on Friday. "It was the most surreal thing, I think, that's ever happened to me in my life."According to the 44-year-old singer, Hilfiger, 55, smacked him in the arm and told him to put the drink back. "He just kept smacking me," Rose said. Attempts to reach Hilfiger or a representative were not immediately successful. Rose was there to play a surprise set for "Rent" actress Rosario Dawson' name

Back In The Day

2006-05-18T17:31:00.000-05:00

Remember when you were a little kid when you looked at stuff and found something really cool. You asked for it for every birthday and Christmas but never got it. I was in target today wandering the toy isles with the kids and spotted something that I have not seen in eons. Sea monkeys yeah that's right I said sea monkeys. I used to get comic books when I was a kid and there would always be some sort of ad in there for these things but no one in my family knew what they were until I mentioned it to my bizarre uncle. He told me he had them when he was little. By the looks of the ad it looks like they could do some pretty cool stuff and bam I was totally into it. My uncle said that you mail in for the critters and then you hatch them in your little sea monkey habitat. Anyhow I asked and asked for these but never got them. Well later in my adult life I started a large aquarium with tropical fish the dealer told me that these fish like live food. At the time I was keeping Discus, I asked what they liked to eat they said black worms and "sea monkeys" I was like sea monkeys? Show me what they look like, then I finally saw that they were brine shrimp. Now I know why I never got them as a gift they are weird looking and resemble nothing like the comic book ads stated I think there is a conspiracy here we should get those sea monkey people for false advertising.

I Need A New Job!

2006-05-18T11:19:00.000-05:00

I think I am losing my intelligence! My IQ has dropped 4 points I am now a 126. To think I used to be a genius. I must have a hole in my head where the stuff just falls out, I dont get it.

It's Hot In Here And Why Am I In A Handbasket

2006-05-18T07:38:00.000-05:00

To those of you who have not read the DaVinci Code you may want to quit reading this because it includes some spoilers.

I am a spiritual person but not a religious one. As a child my family introduced me to religion I went to a Lutheran high school for 2 years. I will admit I have serious issues with organized religion. Call me a pagan if you want. I am at a point where I am doubting my faith. Reading this book has only made it worse. I know it is fiction but why would fiction be so controversial if there wasn't some truth in it the book it's totally believable up until about the last 40 pages.

What if tomorrow we did all discover that Jesus Christ was a married man would that be such a bad thing? If that is true then there would be descendants of Christ walking the earth right now.

There is a portion of the book that discussed the new testament to be inaccurate that important information was left out. Think about it, this man described to us as the messiah he walked on water, fed the hungry, died for our sins and was resurrected. There is nothing in there about his childhood what did he do as a kid or was he only considered a diety after he started his ministry?

My mother keeps telling me there is a god, a divine being that created us all otherwise how did we get here. No on really knows, my thoughts about the "Greatest Story Ever Told" is exactly that, a "Story" I'm not asking for proof here I am just voicing my thoughts. Lately this is one of my personal demons. I have abided by the good book for a long time and try to emphasize the teachings to my children so that hopefully they will grow up to be model citizens.

Where Did She Get Her Bra!

2006-05-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

Well since everybody has been talking about woman issues this week this article sparked my interest.

From the AP

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) - A 44-year-old woman escaped serious injury from a gunshot Sunday thanks to her seat belt and a thick bra strap, authorities said. Robin Key, 44, of Riverview, Fla., was shot through the windshield of the car she was riding in Sunday. She said she felt a searing pain in her shoulder. Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies said a .38-caliber bullet smashed through the windshield then bounced off Key's shoulder - thanks to a seat belt and a thick bra strap. The copper-jacketed slug landed in her lap. "It's a big bullet, but you had all those forces acting against it," Hillsborough sheriff's spokesman J.D. Callaway told the St. Petersburg Times. "It's very rare that something like that occurs. She's very lucky. You know, we're just glad she came out OK." Key said she didn't know why anyone would shoot her. Sheriff's deputies later arrested two men in connection with the shooting several hours later.
Authorities said they do not have a motive for the shooting.

It's About Time!!!

2006-05-15T20:24:00.000-05:00

I just read that Dubbya is going to send troops to the border but I don't think 6,000 is going to be enough. Remember that thing hands across America?

They should make a chain along the border and all hold hands. And shoot anyone who tries to pass. Then some day my kids will be able to get jobs! Yeah, I know this is harsh, but it's just my opinion. Because if they don't do something Canada is going to have a problem.

I am amazed How Common This Is

2006-05-14T19:17:00.000-05:00

I always joke with my mom that someday she will be the "Cat Lady" Currently she has 2 and I know she won't get another one, but just the thought that people will actually take in many more animals than they should.

I have seen this quite often on the news and its is really common to see an article like this on Snopes I have actually read 2 in the last week.

What I am talking about is Animal Hoarding. I think for one its disgusting especially when the person who has the animals doesn't take care of them and 2 I feel bad for the animals because they are not being taken care of.

How many animals is too many?

I found this article at www.snopes.com

HESPERIA, Calif. (AP) - Workers wearing gas masks removed 227 animals that were in "deplorable" condition from a home that reeked of urine, authorities said.

The final tally included 98 guinea pigs, 84 cats, 27 dogs, 14 rabbits, 3 potbellied pigs and 1 bird, Code Compliance Supervisor Tony Genovesi said Wednesday.
Two of the pigs had such severely injured hooves that they had turned them in and were walking on a higher point on their legs, officials said.
"I'm surprised they're not all sick with upper respiratory infections because they're breathing straight ammonia," said Susan Bradley, a kennel technician with the animal control department.
if Hesperia homeowners are allowed to keep six cats, six dogs and 65 cage animals, Genovesi said. All of the animals were removed from the home because of the bad health conditions, he said.
The residents will get back the ones they're allowed to own once the home is fit for their habitation, he said.
It was unclear why the residents kept so many animals.
A person at the home declined to comment to the Victorville Daily Press.
Officials said they learned of the conditions at the home on Friday, when they served an unrelated warrant on a residence across the street.
Authorities previously visited the home in August 2004 and removed dozens of animals, Genovesi said.

That Darn Watch Again!

2006-05-14T19:02:00.000-05:00

Back in December I had another blog called Me and 2 Kids. I originally posted a rant about how selfish my daughter can be at times. This I normal I have read.

Well recently I did a podcast with a fellow blogger who I will allow to remain nameless for the sake that he caused the rehash of this particular event.

Anyway this past x-mas my family spent a small fortune on my 2 children my daughter who is 6 and my son who is 3. I would say they received about 800 - 1000 worth in presents. I had to exchange a few of the items due to being the wrong size. I want to kohls I would say 3 days after x-mas or so. Upon exchanging these said items my daughter see's this pokemon watch and brgs me for it. I said no and explained to her that she just got a whole lot of goodies from "Santa" well this turned into a fierce temper tantrum and we left the store without the watch.

Well the watch reared its ugly head again on Wednesday night when we were doing the pod cast and again on Friday when I went to the store again to take care of a check issue. I just cant believe that the mention of an item could bring on such terror. I stood my ground and again I left the store without the watch.

I'm So Excited!!

2006-05-12T12:22:00.000-05:00

I actually perused the front page of the MJS this morning. I am glad to hear that Ex-Governor Tommy Thompson could possibly be running again.

He is right If he runs, He will WIN!

Stop Eating That Bread

2006-05-11T17:46:00.000-05:00

I love bread but this is over the top! I found this on snopes and decided to share it with other bread eaters for a good laugh.

By the way there is no truth to this.

!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!! Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

The Cat Is Out Of THe Bag Now Brittney

2006-05-11T14:10:00.000-05:00

I listen to 103.7 KISS FM in the morning. Every day they have a segment called the "Junk Drawer" Well todays topic was yet again about the Brittney K-Fed saga.

Apparently good ol' Britt has been secretly meeting with attorneys to spring a suprise divorce on K-Fed.

Hope he doesn't listen to the radio.

Again another story that shows he pure stupidity.

I'm A Slacker!

2006-05-10T11:18:00.000-05:00

About 2 weeks ago I bought a Sony Playstation 2. For me to share with the kids. I also bought the game Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. Can you say hysterical and addicting! Anyway for those of you who have not yet experienced the joys of GTA, this is a must have, but it's rated for mature audiences so I play it in the morning like 6 am when I get home from work.

You are CJ, you just came back to the west coast because yo mom's was capped. Anyway you start rollin with some of yo old school homies and beat up crackheads and other drug and gun slingers. I did find out that you can also beat the crap out of the average passer by and take their money, and people walking by just look at the dead guy. I know its violent but I thinking for now it's and outlet. Oh you can also carjack anybody and run over the po po.

I would give this game 5 stars

I also purchased the Lego Star Wars game if you are a fan of the movies you will love the game its rated E for everyone.

For the spiderman fan try Ultimate Spiderman you can be Venom and kick the crap out of Wolverine.

I know you all were wondering what the heck I have been doing and this it is.

Who's My Daddy?

2006-04-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

Your Daddy Is George Clinton

What You Call Him: Big Daddy

Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings

Who's Your Daddy?

Can You Pass?

2006-04-25T14:17:00.000-05:00

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Now I have Seen It ALL!

2006-04-21T14:57:00.000-05:00

They weren't kidding when they say there is a pill for everything. I had to chuckle at this one. It came up in a search about high gas prices.

http://www.gaspillbusiness.com

I Will Be MIA For The Rest of The Week

2006-04-18T18:09:00.000-05:00

I had Easter dinner here on sunday. Now I am trimming back my plants and cleaning out the leaves in the flower beds. Blah Blah Blah. My daughter wants me to entertain her so I will probably be MIA the rest of the week. I need this pill because this is how I feel.

Why I havn't Quit Smoking Yet

2006-04-08T19:20:00.000-05:00

There are some really good ones out there today. Im in a comedic mood I guess!

Another Video!

2006-04-08T19:12:00.000-05:00

This guy looks like a cross between Ricky Martin & Bob Saget Eeeeeerrrriiieeee!

2 Legged Dog Video!

2006-04-08T18:51:00.001-05:00

Bi-Pedal Dog this is incredable!

We Have The Power To Get Politicians To Resign

2006-04-08T18:45:00.000-05:00

With that being said I think its pretty cool. We should band together as brothers/sisters to oust the people we don't like. Who says Blogging is just "Gossip"

Shoot If Fred Dooley can do so can we!!!

A Compliment To Aaron's Carbon Post

2006-04-06T19:26:00.000-05:00

So when the heck did the Journal start publishing "The Green Pages"?

Lets take a look see... a whole guide for Earth Day. When is that again...

I try to do my part but I ain't no hippy treehugger.

The article has the following tips to be resourceful I have also added my input which I always do. Enjoy!

Don't replace when items can be repaired.
no keep the old dryer to hide your kids Christmas presents in.

Choose durable, long lasting products.
I buy plastic so that when I cook in it I can consume the dioxins and further hinder my kidney function.

Select products with less packaging
I shop at Sam's club so I don't have to worry about the plastic grocery bags getting caught in my maple tree.

Buy locally produced items
Well as seeing that unions have destroyed the workforce in this country the closest local place is china, so yeah I buy locally.

When comparing products check the company website to compare environmental policies...
Is there really chicken in mock chicken legs?

Rent or borrow items that are only occasional needed.
Does purchasing a big screen TV for the big football game and returning it count?

This is only part of it there is a big section all about how one can do things to save the environment.

Aaron has made reference to a calculator to determine how much carbon one is emitting into the environment take a look.

The Brewers Are 3 for 3

2006-04-06T19:19:00.000-05:00

10 more to go and I can get a free burger. Does George Webb even do that anymore?

Wishful thinking I guess.

I hate baseball!

Was Chelsea Adopted???

2006-04-06T19:16:00.000-05:00

My Personal Carnival Of The Badger!

2006-04-06T18:47:00.001-05:00

As you know I blogged a while back that I have an animal living under the porch. Well my drunk neighbor told me is was a skunk. Low and behold the other day when I was getting the mail I looked at the hole to see if it was out there. I am totally obsessed with getting this thing out from under there!!! Well yes it is there and it was looking at me. Freaked out I ran to the back of the house because I thought is was a skunk and getting sprayed is one of my most feared dreams. Well I was locked out and I just hung up on my stepmother. I went around the house to see if it had gone. It didn't well I saw the whole body this time it wasn't a skunk. It did look really big!

This is what my imagination saw!

An animal bigger than a raccoon with a wide body low to the ground with not much of a tail. Dusty reddish gray in color. After I processed this information I went to my mammal book (from grandma when I was a kid) The only thing I could come up with was a badger. "I know your all laughing at me inside"

I called my stepmother back she thought I got sprayed. I also called my uncle and I told the upstairs tenants to watch out for the badger.

Still freaked out I looked up badger sightings on the net and there hasn't been one here in Milwaukee County since 1975. Now i'm thinking its not impossible. I am also fearing for the lives of my children because I have heard that badgers are really mean.

I call the wildlife department of the Humane Society and tell them I think I have a badger under my porch, they never called me back. Dumb founded I looked at the calander, oh, ok its april 1st they think its a joke.

Anyway to make a long story short I have visual confirmation of the animal yesterday morning full frontal opossum. I made noise and it didn't even flinch. I don't think bright light, ammonia soaked rags and NPR can help me know.

Just call me Trapper Lisa i'll be on the phone with Fleet Farm tomorrow.

GPS For Sex Offenders

2006-03-31T12:31:00.000-06:00

I do think this could be a good idea. I have children and I have been to the site that will give exact locations of sex offenders and thank God there are none on my block. Where will the money come from. Most likely another property tax hike. Well it looks like the child pornography criminals will pay a hefty $500 per image charge. The offenders themselves could be made to pay some of the charges. Why not, is this were to give them less prison time they might go for it. I say just put at let's the 1st degree offenders in with the general population and let the psychos take care of them. Most of the most violent criminals can't stand a child molester.

Read the entire Article in todays paper.