His Aim Sucks...

Yeah all this talk about pregnancies and kids. Well those few of you that regularily stop here know I have been working my youngest to use the pot. I have had him in underwear for like 4 days now. He is finally going by himself but gets soo excited about it that he totally loses control of lets say "the stream" my magazine rack is headed for the hose of the garden kind.

Silly Putty and Remotes Don't go Together

Don't try this at home... I made the mistake of showing my kids how to copy the funny pages with the silly putty so now my 4 year old is trying to copy everything. He decided to "mold" the buttons on the remote and the stuff would just not come off. Yeah I even used the big wad of silly putty that was left to try to "lift" it off of there and that didn't even work.

Oh FYI its hard to get out of hair too!

Daily Observation #1

Guy pulls up to gas pump without shirt on, pumps gas. Puts shirt on while walking to station to pay for gas. Leaves store and quickly removes shirt. I just thought this was kinda funny whats the big deal about wearing a shirt anyway. I didnt think they enforced the no shirt thing anymore for the men anyway. I know I wouldn't do it but i'm sure a lot of guys would like me to.

My Flippin Computer Sucks...

Yes, the reason I have been absent for over a week. I am down from a 2.8Ghz to a damn 700Mhz. I think my processor died because of the heat in the case. Stupid alerts I guess I wasn't quick enough to fix the problem. Unless 5 beeps at the post means something else? So I could really use a 20lb sledge if anyone has on to let out my frustrations.

Back From The Fair

Well, suprisingly didn't see very many mullets probably because I was too busy looking for my dad. My step-mom and want to the ladies room and he disappeared with my children so we were like cool then he gets to listen to them whine for those darn character balloons. Thank god its only one week out of the year this is typically the only time of the year I eat corn dogs if you go this weekend and have one get the regular size because the footlong has a bad cornbread to hot dog ratio. We enjoyed ourselves and my brothers girlfriend was propositioned by a toothless carnie.

I'm Starting My New Job Today...

Yes the time has come... I'm going to the State Fair and i'll be mullet hunting full force. I will give you the full report tomorrow.

Going through a wee bet of "Bloggers Block" I think it will pass quickly though.

Who Voted For Briefs?

So people still do where tighty whities...

Dave's Series of Unfortunate Events

Keep in mind this has all transpired in the matter of about a month. They say things usually happen in 3's right so maybe his luck will change. "I highly doubt it" I kinda feel bad in a plankton induced dementia sort of way.

Ok here it goes...

1. Car gets broken into and his money and bank cards are taken.

2. Window of same car is smashed and they boost his car stereo.

3. Parks in a space downtown where they do street cleaning on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, "the sign was small" car is towed and impounded and it costs him $95 bucks to get it out with proper registration and insurance information.

I asked him, " have you done anything bad to anyone?" (batting eyelashes) if looks could have killed I would have been dead on the floor.

I say that's what yah get for cheating on your wife.

Those of you who are doing it or thinking about it might want to take extreme caution after reading this. What comes around goes around.

Muah ha ha ha ha ha...

Alright Already...

I apologize for not showing up last night! I had every intention of going there for "Drinking Right" until I got the phone call. So I am going to try my hardest to get there next time. have even given Casper a suggestion for where we should meet. OK! You now have permission to kick my arse.

What Can I Do with All This Free Time?

Yeah, I know some of you are saying dammit she really needs to update her blog roll. You are sooo right so I am going to go scouting for new material keep your eyes peeled.

It Was Time... Don't Pass This Up Ladies!

I just couldn't go without posting this today! Fashion Bug is having an awesome sale on bras and undies this week! Even if you don't have a man or you need to buy something nice for your girlfriend this is can't miss. I got 124.00 worth of really nice/sexy bras and underwear for about 54 bucks! Yeah, thats right I said 54 bucks. Bras buy 2 get 2 free and undies all styles buy 3 get 3 free. The coolest thing about this store is that they sell all sizes even mine which made me feel like a kid in a candy store. Even if nobody sees them I will at least feel sexier. Lol

Potty Training Update...

My son has finally caught on to my idle threats. I have been threatening him as far as if he doesn't drop the kids off at the pool soon, he will have no birthday party!

Well Today I broke down and bought a soda. My kids are going through major withdrawals from pop. My son took the soda and ran. I said, "you bring that back right now!" His reply "I will give it to you if you go potty on the toilet!"

Reminiscing...

I decided to read some past material and this came up and of course I have a story to go along with it.

Aaron posted this comment to a previous post...

Lisa, other than beerpong, what else is there to life? Lawn Jarts, perhaps? Nay. Beerpong is truly the sport of kings.

Lawn Jarts?

Ok, my youngest brother finally graduated from high school this year so my dad had a big party at his house this past July. Somewhere in the attic of the garage were a set of old Lawn Jarts I don't know who found them. Well the older teenage boys were having a blast playing the game. A few hours later the younger crowd went for a few rounds and one of my cousins decided to hold the ring up and see if the boys could make it through her hoop. Well just as she was picking up the hoop a jart was on its way to make full contact with her left eye and the next thing I know I am calling out the troops. By this time this kid was covered in blood. She ended up only needing one stitch in her eyelid. I suppose things could have been a lot worse.

Movie Review - Clerks II

I have not laughed this much at a movie in a while. God Damn! Now there is one part in the movie that make sense to me... When Elias explains to Randall if he has ever gone "all the way" Elias comments no she has a "Pussy Troll" then he goes on to ask if he has even kissed her he replies "she has a mouth troll too" Anyway Mr. Pillow pants the pussy troll is supposed to fall out when the girl reaches 21 how funny is this. I think I am going to have to use this on my daughter when she gets older. This was a great movie I would highly recommend that you all check it out.

Six Flags Was Packed This Saturday

Well I'm glad I got tickets to get in free! We wanted to checkout the new waterpark but apparently there are capacity restrictions and as people were leaving the would let the same number in. I believe it was like an hour wait. We managed to get on 3 rides in 5 hours and called it a wash. There is also no smoking there except for the designated areas which are few and far between. Yeah I know I should quit but it's my last vice and I have another 30 pounds to lose dammit. I had good company so it wasn't that bad and I finally went on the Viper boy you really get thrown around on that one whew. Next time I go it will be a Tuesday.

Action Figure Dilemma

I visited the grocery store today with my kids. Those of you who have kids can relate to this... Every time we go out they need to take their favorite toys with them. Well today my son decided to take "four arms" with him. While we were walking to the store one of the arms fell off. Of course I didn't notice this until we were almost done in the store and we had been through like every isle. So yeah like the good mother I am I went and retraced all of our steps and explained to my son that if we didn't find the arm the toy would be known as "three arms" I also stated that he would not get a new one because of the rarity of the toys for this show. Well I finished my shopping and we loaded up and got in the car to no avail the arm was outside in the parking lot and if wouldn't have looked to avoid traffic I never would have found it *sigh* of relief that is. My kid was so happy. Oh and for those of you that are toonheads like me should catch this show its pretty cool its on Cartoon Network and it's called Ben 10.